We all seem to have a love/hate relationship when it comes to change. When we want it, it never arrives, and when change is thrust upon us, we don’t typically welcome it. Regardless, change is what we all need to grow. Without it, we’d be stuck; stagnate; unable to move; unable to grow as human beings. Who wants to be stuck? And who wants to be forcibly moved?
Awareness
So, how does one stay grounded throughout life’s transitions and challenges? Well, being aware of the hurricane and all of the elements swirling around you certainly helps. If you have clarity about the changes going in your life, you can begin to address them. It only takes a moment to step into the quiet or the eye of your hurricane to look around and say, “Oh, I’m in a hurricane…Things won’t be the same once this storm passes.” Yet we seem to battle or plow through the storms in our life and never take the time to look up and see what is happening or even acknowledge the storm. By being aware, we can much more easily address the changes or problems before us. By keeping our blinders on and plowing through everything, we may end up on the other side if the storm in one piece, but so much more may have been lost than was necessary. So, how do you address all of the changes? By embracing them.
Embracing Change
Embracing change is what it is really all about yet, what are some questions we can ask ourselves to really begin to embrace change; especially when it enters your life like a hurricane?
- What do you need to let go of?
- What are you resisting?
- What positive things is this change providing for you?
- What is a different way of looking at it?
Letting Go
That first question is one of the hardest; What do you need to let go of? Often times, we hold on so tightly to something that we don’t even know we are still holding on? Perhaps you need to let go of the life you created for yourself 10 years ago? Like fashion, the life you created for yourself 10 years ago probably doesn’t work so well in today’s day and age. Is life telling you it is time for a change; time to re-create yourself/your life? Maybe you don’t realize that you are still holding onto the life you designed years ago? Maybe you are holding onto the life you expected to create but it hasn’t come to fruition yet. Is that what you need to let go of?
Resistance – The Power of Fear
Once you’ve figured out what you need to let go of, it’s time to ask yourself, “What are you resisting?” Why haven’t you let go of it before? Are you resisting out of fear? …Fear that if you let go, everything will fall apart? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of the unknown? Fear can paralyze us. Fear can paralyze us for years! Fear can keep us in that holding pattern where we say, “Someday, I’ll write that book (Fill in the blank for yourself)!” Many of us talk about someday, yet fear grips us and we don’t even realize it. Acknowledge your fear, then take a small step to begin working through it. For instance, if your life was turned upside down by being laid off; a change that was thrust upon you, perhaps you need to let go of the identity you had with that company? Perhaps you are resisting the need to create a new identity because you want to keep things the way they were, but you know you can’t. Fear of the unknown is working hard here, and unless you begin to step into the unknown, you will stay stuck.
The Bright Side
So, in the midst of change, it is easy to acknowledge and point out all of the negatives. For example, if you’ve been laid off, you may be focusing on your severly reduced income (if you are collecting unemployment), the difficulty of being able to find a job in this day and age, or the perceived ‘shame’ that you may have taken-on as you walk with the label of “unemployed.” The interesting part here is that you have a choice! While you can never help what happens TO YOU, you have the power to choose HOW YOU REACT TO IT.
What’s Your Chosen Perspective?
In this example of being laid off, perhaps you’ve found a big load of relief because you no longer have to work 60 + hour work weeks, or you no longer have to worry about that big project you were working on? In fact, those co-workers who are still working are probably taking-on your old workload, and they don’t have the luxury of time to re-invent themselves. Maybe being laid off has allowed you to become closer to your family? Maybe you’re re-assessing your priorities? You see, changes that initially seem traumatic or devastating can have a bright side, and you always have the power to choose how you’d like to look at it.
While these are such simple question, they are very powerful questions to be asking yourself as you approach big, or even little changes. So instead of treating the word ‘change’ as a nasty four-letter word, perhaps your perspective could be, “Change – Bring it on!”
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